The Grand Calcutron
{W}{U}Legendary Artifact
When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards). Players can play only the first card of their program. If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead. At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference. The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.